Semester Hacks

Fellow comrades, finally, we are back to business and it is no doubt that a good number of us cannot wait to get this semester done and dusted,dont worry, I got you.

Surviving in this cold side of the Rift doesnot only need perseverance but also some God sent skills.Firstly, academics with no time to revell makes john a dull comrade,you have 5 days in a week to attend lecturers, please sign off in style. Friday nights tend to be boring if only you got your bed as company, you need sometime out. For those who do not prefer subjecting their livers tounnecessary torture, you can try hit up the guy who arogantly made you cut the journey to your room only for him to ask for your number and promised to get back to you, and ask him if you could spend the night at his place while you catch up some latest marvel series or even complete assignments!

For our brothers and sisters who have openly decided to promote the brewing industry, Friday night is the day you have been waiting for, hit up your crew and make sure the ratio is well balanced before you set out for the liqour store.

The rains are proving to 'board' and all we can do is to respect mother nature, keep warm! That short girl or the light skin model you have been flooding her phone with some mediocre 'I love you' text messages and finally gave you the green lights, this is the semester to let her move in and save her from the unplanned coil crisis that in most cases leaves her having half cooked food for supper. For the girls, this is the time to get back to your ex who unceremoniously left you for some fresha in the school of arts and remind him that you still got the sauce.

The coil phenomenon is slowly dwindling thanks to the renovation of Hostel H which I must admit is long overdue and something surely needs to be done, but for our fellow comrades in the Soweto hostels, the aroma of deep fried omena at odd hours of the day should seriously be brought back to life, for its only in that omena that you save your intestinal worms from having to take 2 slim KDFs for supper during mid sem.

I know by now, we have all seen the memo from the dean of students addressing the 10 to 10 rule, for most of us , the memo is inconsequential, but for the few , please refuse to board when she refuses to take you to her room and rather opts for the lobby. First, the Ayiro effect, has made the lobby dates expensive with the introduction of hostel canteens , secondly and most importantly, as a comrade you can not risk your reputation and health conditions just for some annoying security guards to pick you up and extort money from you in the name of avoiding the senate, but when push comes to shove and you are caught, just walk with them untill the library area and show them a new pair of heals, they are too stiff and incompetent to run.

Finally , for the freshmen, when it is time to sit for your sit in CATS, please abandon that girl who had class rep zoned you and only texts you when she is unsure of a class, this is the time to embrace your fellow boychild, help him cheat and make sure the girl child appreciate your being around next time.